Distended Pain

This isn't right and I've known it for a long time.

My stomach is so distended and my skin feels tight. I'm eating and drinking correctly and yet somehow my bowels still despise me.

I am so incredibly fed up with this I want to sit and stand and be comfortable doing so. 

But no, my skin is always pulling, my tummy is always pooched out because I'm always full.

It's such a problem..

Oh, To Live In A Dream...

Me: I'd rather just live in a dream 24/7.

B: Really? :\

Me: Yeah better than real life..

B: Guess you'd finally have a good boyfriend in your dreams too. :')

Me: What?

B: Just forget about it...what's up?

Me: Haha no I'm not going to forget about it.

Fake

I'm this pathetic, lifeless vessel. 

Everything I do and say feels wrong and I honestly don't know what's right anymore.

I don't have anyone to talk to or be with. The same old situation but.. it's enhanced.

Before I didn't have anyone and I was alone, now I don't have anyone and I'm surrounded by people 5 days of  the week and usually the weekends now too with B and his friends. All the people and I'm still alone.

I cannot find one decent person to be a friend. Mostly everyone is just a body that I talk to about pointless things for a short period of time. It's all fake. Everything is fake. Everyone is fake and everything everyone does isn't real. Everything that happens is not real.

11 Months

I’m trying something new. I’m in Broadcasting right now, writing on Microsoft Word, which I’ll save this, put it on my flash drive, then upload it to my Microsoft word on my computer and upload it to Blogger. AHAH. Good idea huh?

Right now, the text is at 8 which is like a quarter portion of my nail. It’s so small. The actual window is half size and on the corner of the screen. Being discreet as FUCK.

Today

Today is a depressing day. 

Not just because of the weather, it's been pouring all day. And I mean pouring.

I'm Back

Eh. Too long since I've written. I just find it pointless. By now there's too much to fill in on, so I'll just continue and fill in if I must.

My birthday was last Tuesday. September 11th. I'm now 17. I like that age. It's like a year above a child, a year younger than an adult. I feel more mature than other kids, and therefore- I feel more confident.

My birthday started shitty, probably because I was expecting it too. Plus I was really off Monday and my birthday. I put soap on my toothbrush Tuesday.. I was tired. And my mom texted me. So that basically fucked my day. First period, BH snuck in and wrote "Happy 17th Birthday Tiana! -Gingie [:" on the board. I call her Gingie cause she's a ginger, red hair and all that. She likes it so..yeah. xD That made my morning better. B was..off. He didn't feel good. His stomach, said he ate too much the night before. I totally understood.