When I started writing: Yogurt and fruit.
Now: Egg whites, diet whole wheat bread, 97% fat free hot dogs, white chicken breast, yogurt, fruit, vegetables, shrimp, tuna.
I literally cannot believe my eyes when I read that and it's actually true. As long as I've got wrapped so tight with Ed, I had it decided my diet would never change. It didn't feel possible in the slightest and I didn't want it to be possible. And now yesterday morning I had egg whites and two pieces of toast with an apple. Isn't that such a normal breakfast? For lunch I had a hot dog on a piece of diet whole wheat bread, lettuce and some mustard with mixed vegetables and an apple. Then later in the day I had some yogurt and fruit and a piece of bread for a snack. Isn't that..crazy? I could applaud myself but I still can't believe it.
I went to my nutritionist Monday at 3 and we had an hour session and I asked her a bunch of questions I had on my mind for quite a long time. She answered and we talked more and she gave me a bunch of papers. I asked how many servings of fat protein and carb I should have a day and she gave me a paper with a bunch of menu ideas, a paper on Omega 3's fatty acids cause I asked about what they do for you, and she gave me a few papers she called a food diary I'm supposed to fill out and give to her on our next appointment (August 8th). I write down what I'm eating, how hungry I am and how full it makes me, and how I feel when I eat. I haven't started yet but I will when I catch my breath.
The day's have been cluttered and I love it. I wake up at 7:20am and B's mom picks me up at 8:40. She takes us to the church by my mom's house for Vacation Bible School (VBS). I mentioned I don't have a religion but I do it for fun because I love little kids and helping out. So me and B are the 'leaders' of the kids who just finished first and second grade before summer. We have Colton, Gage, Hunter, Bronson, Aidan, and Julia- The only girl. I call her the little princess since one of the teachers did the first day. They're so amusing and fun. I asked B last month if he'd help out with me and he wasn't sure about doing it but he went with it anyway and he told me he actually enjoys it which made me mad happy.
B's mom knows this woman who makes jewelry and she also does aroma therapy and she gave her a bottle of this anti anxiety fragrance you dab under your nose and it's supposed to slow your heart rate and relax you. Sounds kinda yeah right fuck that but it actually works. It's insane. It like immediately boosts my mood too. I wasn't sure about it working cause I never really believed in aroma therapy, just medication. But it's like the best shit ever.
Yesterday after VBS, I went over B's and I ate the lunch I brought while he fixed a few things on my laptop that the stupid idiot didn't when it got infected. After that we got high. It wasn't sickly this time it was balanced and airy and good. No guilt just fuck it all. Then we went swimming and it was amazing. The water felt like silk brushing against my skin and the sky was just beautiful. It felt like I was gliding through a painting. The water was warm and embracing.
This is the unexpectedly expected part. I had the intention of trying something but it ended up being something different but still something. We got home and watched the new Breaking Bad on his computer then started making out then clothes started coming off and now B's not a virgin. It kind of failed but still, that's kind of expected for a first time.
I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a guy I went out with for a month because I wanted to get it over with and I thought it was the only chance I'd ever get because I wasn't thin and I certainly didn't feel pretty or liked. I thought I wouldn't get the chance until I was at least 19 and I wanted to be able to say I wasn't a virgin by then so I wouldn't look unexpiranced or have to bleed and hurt. Of course it hurt yesterday but that's kind of expected too.
Tomorrow's our nine month marker. Three more and it's a year..that's insane. Today at VBS, me and B were joking around outside and tossing a ball back and forth while the kids played. Abby cut in with, "God you guys get along so well." And I was taken off guard and I'm like, "What?" And she's like, "The way you guys talk, I wish I had a boyfriend like that." And me and B turn to eachother and just smile. That's an all around awesome feeling, jealousy of our relationship. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be able to hold him and call him mine.
About the constipation, I drank a bottle of Magnesium Citrate Tuesday night sometime and it didn't start working until mid day the next day. Then I drank more that night and it kinda helped again. When I get bound up it's torture. My lower abdomen is all out and sensitive. It feels like it's burning. Like someone stabbed me in the stomach with a heated knife, twisted, then ripped it out. Not over exaggerating. It takes a bit for my stomach to go back down and feel comfortable again. My nutritionist said it was because I've been having bread and not enough water and that messes you up. So yesterday I had 5 bottles and right now I'm in my second for the day. My stomach's feeling less burny but still kinda uncomfortable..
I went to my mom's after VBS today to see if I could get some of my stuff. I really want my posters and speakers so I could play music and have it actually sound good with a bass. But guess who was there. And guess who changed the locks on the doors like she said she would.
Fuck. Her.
I'm going to my Periodontist appointment today at 4:30, I'm leaving at 3:45 and it's now 3. I can't really update anymore because I don't have time. I'll write another later or tomorrow. I'm so nervous I could smack my head off a wall. Odd thing to say but.. yeah. I also feel oddly fuck it. That's my mood lately. I'm very chill and I'm actually sharing my opinion. More on that later. After the Periodontist, I have a therapist appointment. Fucking sucks..
Now: Egg whites, diet whole wheat bread, 97% fat free hot dogs, white chicken breast, yogurt, fruit, vegetables, shrimp, tuna.
I literally cannot believe my eyes when I read that and it's actually true. As long as I've got wrapped so tight with Ed, I had it decided my diet would never change. It didn't feel possible in the slightest and I didn't want it to be possible. And now yesterday morning I had egg whites and two pieces of toast with an apple. Isn't that such a normal breakfast? For lunch I had a hot dog on a piece of diet whole wheat bread, lettuce and some mustard with mixed vegetables and an apple. Then later in the day I had some yogurt and fruit and a piece of bread for a snack. Isn't that..crazy? I could applaud myself but I still can't believe it.
I went to my nutritionist Monday at 3 and we had an hour session and I asked her a bunch of questions I had on my mind for quite a long time. She answered and we talked more and she gave me a bunch of papers. I asked how many servings of fat protein and carb I should have a day and she gave me a paper with a bunch of menu ideas, a paper on Omega 3's fatty acids cause I asked about what they do for you, and she gave me a few papers she called a food diary I'm supposed to fill out and give to her on our next appointment (August 8th). I write down what I'm eating, how hungry I am and how full it makes me, and how I feel when I eat. I haven't started yet but I will when I catch my breath.
The day's have been cluttered and I love it. I wake up at 7:20am and B's mom picks me up at 8:40. She takes us to the church by my mom's house for Vacation Bible School (VBS). I mentioned I don't have a religion but I do it for fun because I love little kids and helping out. So me and B are the 'leaders' of the kids who just finished first and second grade before summer. We have Colton, Gage, Hunter, Bronson, Aidan, and Julia- The only girl. I call her the little princess since one of the teachers did the first day. They're so amusing and fun. I asked B last month if he'd help out with me and he wasn't sure about doing it but he went with it anyway and he told me he actually enjoys it which made me mad happy.
B's mom knows this woman who makes jewelry and she also does aroma therapy and she gave her a bottle of this anti anxiety fragrance you dab under your nose and it's supposed to slow your heart rate and relax you. Sounds kinda yeah right fuck that but it actually works. It's insane. It like immediately boosts my mood too. I wasn't sure about it working cause I never really believed in aroma therapy, just medication. But it's like the best shit ever.
Yesterday after VBS, I went over B's and I ate the lunch I brought while he fixed a few things on my laptop that the stupid idiot didn't when it got infected. After that we got high. It wasn't sickly this time it was balanced and airy and good. No guilt just fuck it all. Then we went swimming and it was amazing. The water felt like silk brushing against my skin and the sky was just beautiful. It felt like I was gliding through a painting. The water was warm and embracing.
This is the unexpectedly expected part. I had the intention of trying something but it ended up being something different but still something. We got home and watched the new Breaking Bad on his computer then started making out then clothes started coming off and now B's not a virgin. It kind of failed but still, that's kind of expected for a first time.
I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a guy I went out with for a month because I wanted to get it over with and I thought it was the only chance I'd ever get because I wasn't thin and I certainly didn't feel pretty or liked. I thought I wouldn't get the chance until I was at least 19 and I wanted to be able to say I wasn't a virgin by then so I wouldn't look unexpiranced or have to bleed and hurt. Of course it hurt yesterday but that's kind of expected too.
Tomorrow's our nine month marker. Three more and it's a year..that's insane. Today at VBS, me and B were joking around outside and tossing a ball back and forth while the kids played. Abby cut in with, "God you guys get along so well." And I was taken off guard and I'm like, "What?" And she's like, "The way you guys talk, I wish I had a boyfriend like that." And me and B turn to eachother and just smile. That's an all around awesome feeling, jealousy of our relationship. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be able to hold him and call him mine.
About the constipation, I drank a bottle of Magnesium Citrate Tuesday night sometime and it didn't start working until mid day the next day. Then I drank more that night and it kinda helped again. When I get bound up it's torture. My lower abdomen is all out and sensitive. It feels like it's burning. Like someone stabbed me in the stomach with a heated knife, twisted, then ripped it out. Not over exaggerating. It takes a bit for my stomach to go back down and feel comfortable again. My nutritionist said it was because I've been having bread and not enough water and that messes you up. So yesterday I had 5 bottles and right now I'm in my second for the day. My stomach's feeling less burny but still kinda uncomfortable..
I went to my mom's after VBS today to see if I could get some of my stuff. I really want my posters and speakers so I could play music and have it actually sound good with a bass. But guess who was there. And guess who changed the locks on the doors like she said she would.
Fuck. Her.
I'm going to my Periodontist appointment today at 4:30, I'm leaving at 3:45 and it's now 3. I can't really update anymore because I don't have time. I'll write another later or tomorrow. I'm so nervous I could smack my head off a wall. Odd thing to say but.. yeah. I also feel oddly fuck it. That's my mood lately. I'm very chill and I'm actually sharing my opinion. More on that later. After the Periodontist, I have a therapist appointment. Fucking sucks..
aahh!! i'm super-pleased for you. that DOES sound like a healthy diet for ya yesterday, and you totally should applaud yerself. that's awesome. glad yer nutritionist session went well. big smiley to the aromatherapy stuff--a friend and i were talkin the other day about natural remedies for anxiety. lavendar oil's good; vanilla, too. on another note, that sounds like it totally sucks bout the abdomen/intestinal pain. if you want, try havin a good squeeze of lemon juice (from a real lemon, not the bottled stuff) in a full glass of water first thing in the morning; drink it down and shit will hopefully start happenin, literally. (that's the remedy i learned from a nutritionist a few months ago.) also flaxseed is good; put a tablespoon or two of ground flaxseed in yer yogurt--lotsa fiber (so hopefully shit happens) and also lotsa omega 3s... anyhow, hugs. hope yer periodontist appt went all right and everything's still chill. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks! :]
DeleteAnd yeah the bottle has some kind of lavender something in it. There's like 5 ingredients. :P
Thanks for the information, next time I go to the store, I'll get a lemon! I hope it works. :]