Bye Ballet

It's 11:20am and I'm sitting on my couch watching reruns of Jimmy Neutron, never too old for this show or Spongebob. xD
This morning, my dad woke me up at 9:30 instead of 11 like he said he would. I needed stuff from my mom's because my ballet recitals are Friday and Saturday, and rehearsal is today at 4pm-9pm.
My dad got called to go trucking earlier because the load was ready sooner, so he had to wake me up earlier to get the stuff.
I'm so tired. I went to bed at around 2:30-45. 11am was pushing it for me..and then 9:30? wtf.
Whatever. I now have a coffee sitting next to me. 12oz. I used to drink 24oz but then my gastroenterologist told me it "dries you out," plus I started to feel like I didn't need it after school ended.
I just need it today because I'm going to be moving tonight. I don't want to move.
I'm saying goodbye to ballet after this recital. It's because my Ed's and depression. I still love it, I just don't have the will.
I've been taking it since I was 4 and I'm now 16. I'm going to miss it but the pleasure of not having to move will probably overcome it...
This may be my only time to blog, unless I have the energy or time when I get home after 9 tonight.
It's not much but it's an update.


I went back to my mom's and after grabbing the hair gel, bobby pins, etc that I need for rehearsal, I grabbed shirts and nailpolish and earrings and a bunch of stuff I felt take. There's not all that much here at my dads. It felt weird being in my old room. It's all decorated and really shows my personality. Here's an older picture, it still looks like this but things are moved around on the surfaces of cabinets.

 I kind of miss it, but then again I don't. Cause when I start to miss my mom's house, I just remember of how alone I felt all the time and how annoying the birds and dogs were and how dirty most of the house is because my mom puts things off. My room was my sanctuary, the only neat, good smelling part of the house. It lost it's comfort. Now at my dads, I'm sitting on the couch in the living room. It's comfortable everywhere, even when I'm alone. Well it is an apartment, but it's neat everywhere. He picks up after everything. He keeps everything in check. Shops for stuff when we need it, not a week after. Never out of toilet paper, napkins or food.
I love it here, I'm happier here.
And I feel better after typing that all out and seeing the truth in it.
Now, it's time to go sew my ballet costume straps, and start my makeup and hair around 12:30. Then go to rehearsal and sit there as they run through the whole show in which I'm only in one dance and the finale, because I quit the other 5 dances. I'll probably read. I'm reading a book called "Life Without Ed," it's really good. Every word she says I can relate too. My therapist lent it to me to read. I'm going to put one of those removable covers from another book over top of it though so no one sees...