Day three of not relapsing back into my old "safe" diet, and day four of excersising. Saturday and yesterday, I had my allowed Chinese dish. I get one dish and split it and save the rest for the next day. I thought I'd start off with something familiar so it wouldn't be that easy to relapse. I weening off my old diet because I know how easy it is to stumble and fall right back in. So right now I'm just working on increasing my meal options for my second meal of the day. For the first two days, it was Chinese. Now today and tomorrow, I'm going into a less familiar dish- but still familiar. Canned tuna and a bag of steamfresh broccoli. Wednesday and Thursday I'm going to have the thing I couldn't have two weeks ago- a Berry Almond Chicken Salad from Wendy's. I'm in complete googoo love with those things and two weeks ago when they finally came out and I was psyched, I just couldn't do it. I shoved it in the back of my fridge and threw it out when my dad wasn't around. But I'm going to do it in two days, for two days. After that, I'm going to have four meal options! That's going up from the only one I've been having for months. The most I've had since November is two meal options.
Once that stuff is in, I want to be set with my normal breakfast, one of the options for my second meal, and maybe a salad later or some raw veggies. I don't want to do it, but I'm slowly giving up more and more fruit. It's the "easy" food. The..I guess you can say trigger food. It's delicious and non guilty. But my body can't live on it. Someday soon I hope to have maybe egg whites and diet toast for breakfast..that sound's so impossibly possible. And it feels so good.. Maybe after that- non coated cereal and Silk Almond Milk..Mmmmmm. It's so good to have this kind of freedom. My mind is exploring and I'm not letting Ed consume me with no's. I feel like I can do this.
Right now it's another chilly summer day in PA. It looks like it's about to rain. I think I'm going to take my walk right now instead of tonight to avoid any excuses my brain will come up with like "it's too wet out," or even if it's raining I'm way to groggy to deal with it. It's a rainy day where all you want to do is curl up into a ball in a dark room, and sink into the softest bed in the world. Oh how I wish..
Any time you allow yourself to enjoy parts of your life, including food, you are making progress. Some days will seem worse than others, but things in life, no matter how small, make their way to you and change how you see things. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI tend to binge on fruit as well. Usually, those cravings are because you're lacking in some nutrient (and is worsened when you're upset), so make sure you're at least taking a multi-vitamin.
Thank you [: I am taking a multivitamin..I think I just binge of fruit because it's the easiest thing.
Deletei used to be the most sedentary person i know until i got a dog. guess it's been 5 years now. she has a HUGE amount of energy and is ALWAYS up for a walk. actually she likes trotting beside me while i ride a bike best of all. anyhow, now i'm getting an hour of exercise a day, pretty much every day. yeehaw.
ReplyDeleteThat's great! I wish I had a dog haha, things would be so much more fun. A friend that's always there, an buddy that'll always go on a walk with you.
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